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Broken Vows: Coping With Divorce

A study of 2 Timothy 4:9-18

While eating with my family at a local pizza parlor we overheard a conversation, first between two families then resulting in this question from a young boy to his father, "What is a "stepbrother?"  Words can't convey the horrified expression on the boy's face as his father hypothesized a situation where, instead of four brothers and sisters, he may have stepbrothers.  Could this child's reaction mirror the reaction of God (Mal. 2:13-16)?  His perfect plan for mankind was twisted beyond recognition because of "the hardness of man's heart" (Mt. 19:8).

This topic touches very close to home for many of us.  We know of loved ones and friends who have gone through this terrible ordeal.  Because of the personal nature of a dissolving marriage, it was with reluctance I approach this topic, but with hope that in presenting these thoughts we will be reminded what is at stake as we work harder at guarding our vows that they not become broken.

Although not addressing the subject of divorce, Paul's experiences in the closing days of his life, as reported in 2 Timothy chapter four, reveals how he responded in the face of broken promises on the part of his coworkers.  The principles outlined in these verses can provide a road map for dealing with divorce.

1.  RESTORE STABILITY (9, 11).

Paul needed the company of Timothy (9) and Mark (11) because his fellow workers had forsaken him.  His call for Mark is especially interesting (Acts 13:13; 15:36-39).  Paul offers us hope as we faced difficult and strained relationships.  These often only become irreparable because of our lack of effort.

Unfortunately, the world has little respect for God's Will, especially as it applies to marriage.  Society say's that if it doesn't work out, you find someone you think you will like better or you just get bored ... divorce is easy, painless and common (only the last claim is true).

Seneca, a Roman statesman and philosopher from the time of Nero, and Paul's writing of 2 Timothy, stated, "they divorce in order to remarry.  They marry in order to divorce."  Such instability is never pleasant.  Especially when children are involved, stability needs to be restored as quickly as possible.  Here Paul wanted to be busy doing constructive work, it gave him a sense of stability (13).

Noah Webster wrote, "Marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, for promoting domestic felicity, and for securing the maintenance and security of children."  The adults who promised before God to love each other "till death parts us" must bear the responsibility for the needs of the children who came to believe they meant it.

2.  LOVE ON THE HIGHEST LEVEL (10).

Demas' love was as inferior as the object of his affection, the world (1 Jn. 2:15-17).  Although God loved the world (Jn 3:16), it was a greater love directed towards a nobler goal (v. 17).

When a couple enters into marriage based on physical attraction, the relationship must deeper or it will produce discord and pain.  Many marriages that become statistics in divorce court may THINK they are coming out ahead, but the number of repeat divorces indicates otherwise.  The pain inflicted is too great, even if they are in the right.  It reminds one of the would-be robber who put down a $20 and asked for change.  When the cash register was open he pulled a gun and demanded all the money inside.  Running from the scene of the crime, leaving behind the $20, he discovered inside the bag a little under $15.  There are far more "loser" than "winners" in divorce.

The love Jesus advocated and demonstrated is a love of the will over the emotion, a "no matter what I'll act in your best interest" kind of love (1 Cor. 13:4-8a).  It is a love capable of facing an enemy (Mt. 5:44-45a).

3.  KEEP YOUR PROMISE TO GOD (16-18).

You know the traditional marriage vows.  For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, etc.  These promises are taken seriously, if only by a faithful God (Mt. 19:9).  The challenge of your faithfulness is to allow it to mirror their unfaithfulness.  Demas was contrasted by Paul's actions, not imitated, because he had made a promise of faithfulness and loyalty to God in becoming a Christian.

Especially in regard to the marriage relationship, to be faithful will require the guarding of sexual purity (Mt. 19:10).  Just as God gives self-control to those wanting to obey him prior to marriage, he can do the same following a divorce.  One may find himself forced into such a life, but God can empower one to live such a life.

It is always sad when the vows of marriage are not taken seriously.  Don't they understand what they are promising?  Don't they understand to WHOM they promised?  Divorce hurts everyone involved, husband, wife, children, and grandparents (often forgotten in parent's conflict).  God is disappointed.  The faithful child of God who finds himself thrust in this unpleasant aspect of "social recreation" can be a source of comfort to the innocent hurting, a source of strength and an example of faithfulness as God is served.  Hopefully, that example will be much more persuasive to the next generation in helping them to recognize God's wisdom in marriage and the value of being true to God, knowing he will always be found true.  Maybe they will see the value of not breaking their vows.

David Bragg

Cape Girardeau, MO

Sept. 3, 2000  

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How to Recognize Greatness

Text:  Matthew 20:25-28

Popular author Steven Covey ignited a cultural trend with his Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.  In an interview for Modern Maturity magazine Secretary of State Colin Powell offered his own seven laws of leadership.  Interest in the sometimes elusive success is not really new.  In the days of Jesus’ earthly ministry there were a number of apostolic “power plays.”  Two brothers jockeyed for the places of prominence, one on the left and the other on the right hand side of Jesus in His eventual kingdom (Mat. 20:20-21).  They were perhaps responsible for enlisting the aid of their mother to lobby on their behalf!  The others were understandably indignant (v. 24).  However, when the full truth is revealed that each of them harbored the same ambitions (Mark 9:33-34).  The indignation of the ten towards the two could have actually been jealousy that they didn’t think of it first!

The story is told of a freshman “orientation” tradition of the Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD.  A visitor noticed a number of first year students, armed with pad and pencil, meticulously counting the bricks in the courtyard of the school.  When asked the significance of what he saw, the visitor was informed that the upperclassmen annually asked the in-coming students how many bricks it took to finish paving the courtyard.  He asked his guide, “What is the correct count?”  “Only one!”  The best of modern research can tell us much about necessary ingredients for achieving success, but no formula concocted will be nearly as effective as the ONE Jesus offered in Matthew 20:25-28.  The secret to ultimate success is serving others.  A Godly servant will incorporate all other qualities necessary to be successful IN THE EYES OF GOD … the sole and final judge of character.

There are a number of motives cited by modern Christians for their way of life.  Why do we serve God?

1.  To Avoid Hell?

The images of Hebrews 10:31, falling into the hands of an angry God, have effectively been used to frighten believers into obedience out of fear of being condemned. This fear results when such verses are not balanced with verses like Ezekiel 33:11:  “Say to them: ‘As I live,’ says the Lord GOD, ‘I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live. Turn, turn from your evil ways! For why should you die, O house of Israel?’”  It is an error to conclude two distinct Gods in the Bible, a harsh God in the Old Testament and a loving God in the New.  To be motivated by fear of hell (not an anticipation of heaven) indicates an out of focus view of the one true God who wants all men to be saved (1 Tim. 2:4; 2 Pet. 3:9).

Every Christian should clearly understand that Hell was never created as an eternal residence for man (Mat. 25:41).  Every soul condemned to its eternal torment represents a loss to God’s intention.

2.  To Neutralize Sin?

If all of one’s sins are placed on the left side of the scales, and all their good deeds and acts of service arranged on the right, the goal of this individual is to tip ever so slightly the scales to the side of the good deeds.  Such an approach sets an individual up for a maddening and hopeless pursuit of salvation.

We are all sinners (2 Chron. 6:36) deserving of eternal condemnation (Ezra 9:13).  "Many early Jewish texts refer to heavenly tablets ... containing records of human history or God's laws; angels were continually writing down people's sins" (The IVP Bible Backgrounds Commentary: New Testament, by Gary Keener, 814).  This was the reality of the disciple’s shock in Matthew 19:25, “Who then can be saved?”

The fallacy of this approach is the nagging fact that even if one could manage just one good deed more than the total number of their sins, you still have the sins!  Salvation is not achieved by outnumbering sins but by removing them.  No unaided human effort can ever accomplish that.

A teenager got his first real job cleaning the windows of a local grocery store.  Determined to do his level best he strenuously rubbed at a particularly stubborn smudge.  Each time he stepped back to measure his progress that smudge smirked back at him.  The manager noticed the young man’s predicament.  Taking a clean cloth and calling the young man inside, the manager took one swipe and the smudge was gone.  Try as he may to clean the outside, only Jesus can clean the inside.

What is the motive of a Christian’s good works if not to counteract sin?  Dan Eubanks wrote in a recent issue of the Gospel Advocate, “Good works are necessary to prove the reality of our faith, but they are not the payment for any part of our sins.  The real, final, and full payment for our sins was [and is] the blood of Christ” (4/02, 37).  Any attempt to neutralize sin and thereby merit salvation is futile and impossible (Psalm 5:4).

3.  To Please God!

This is the only true motive for the Christian servant.

*    John 14:15: “If you love Me, keep My commandments. 

*    John 14:21: He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me.

*    1 John 5:2-3: By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.

James Bracy wrote a love letter to his new wife in 1955 as he was stationed in California.  Sally, his wife, received that letter in April of 2001.  The lost letter was rediscovered between two walls as the old post office was being torn down.  She was ecstatic to get that love letter more than any other single treasure.  When His people do good to others simply because they love God, He is pleased.  When the church rediscovers their motivation in the tremendous love of God for each inhabitant of earth, they can serve Him with the purest possible motivation:  love.  Each act of kindness, loving word, and sacrifice represents their love for God. 

This model of servanthood is not unknown to man … God has powerfully illustrated it in the most beautiful vessels:  mothers. 

“There is no difficulty that enough love will not conquer;

No disease that enough love will not heal;

No door that enough love will not open;

No gulf that enough love will not bridge;

No wall that enough love will not throw down;

No sin that enough love will not redeem.

It makes no different e how deeply seated may be the trouble,

How hopeless the outlook,

How muddled the tangle,

How great the mistake,

A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all.

If only you could love enough,

You would be the happiest and most powerful being in the world.”

“The heart never asks, “how much must I do,” but rather, “how much can I do” (Fred Agar).

This story is all too familiar.  A busy mother of ten in Costa Mesa, CA was trying to get the day’s work accomplished while one of her sons, three-year-old Len, was constantly underfoot.  It seemed countless times that she asked him to please go play outside or find out what the other kids were doing.  Finally her patience wore thin as once again she nearly tripped over him.  Sitting down on the floor with him she asked why he was following her everyplace she went.  Sharon Vorrhees writes, “He looked up at me with sweet green eyes and said, “Well, Mommy, in Primary my teacher told me to walk in Jesus’ footsteps.  But I can’t see him, so I’m walking in yours.”  I gathered Len in my arms and help him close.  Tears of love and humility spilled over from the prayer that grew in my heart – a prayer of thanks for the simple yet beautiful perspective of my three-year-old boy.” 

This is the power God has built into each Christian mother.  This is always her special goal.  Are you looking for an example of greatness this morning?  God could tell us to seek out a godly mother.  Finding her, we need look no further.

David Bragg

Cape Girardeau, MO

May 12, 2002  

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The Sanctity of Marriage

A Study of Heb. 13:4

Some people remember listening to music on an old Victrola or gathering around the radio and straining to hear through the crackling noise. When I was a teenager the big innovation was to be 8-tracks. Today we listen to CDs and MIDI files. As we near the crest of a new century and pause to look back it is amazing how much things have changed.

Do you remember when marriages lasted a lifetime? Do you remember when the wedding vows were a seal for a lifetime? My great-grandparents were married for 54 and 46 years respectively. My grandparents were married for 60 years. My parents have been married for 52 years and counting. My in-laws were married for 42 years.

Each of these couples represented one man - one wife for life. My generation cannot boast such success when it comes to marriage. Unlike other forms of modernization, the modernization of marriage has not reaped positive benefits. The lack of commitment and integrity rampant in society regarding marriage reinforces the practical, relevant plea of Heb. 13:6.

1. Marriage as an institution is to be revered.

It is honorable (to be valued; esteemed) among ALL. The guidelines governing this divine institution are applicable to everyone whether Christian or non-Christian, Jew or Gentile, ancient or modern.

God gave us marriage to provide for the basic needs of the human race (Gen. 2:18-25). From that moment on marriage represented a binding covenant relationship with one's spouse before God (Mat. 19:6) -- a sacred covenant (Prov. 2:17) that could only be honorably ended by death (Rom 7:2) and dishonorably severed because of fornication (Mt. 19:9).

Especially as the church, the bride of Christ, we must honor the institution of marriage knowing that to revere the gift is to revere the Giver!

2. Marriage is a relationship that must be kept pure.

When the writer speaks of the "bed undefiled" he is speaking of the intimacy of marriage. God's will is clear: any sexual activity outside a divinely sanctioned marriage is sin.

As a moral precept some judge this too harsh of a position. After all, God wants us to be happy! What people fail to realize is that true and abiding happiness can only be found in faithfulness. Spiritual unfaithfulness will destroy your relationship with God. In marriage it destroys trust. How many could testify from personal experience through a string of broken marriages that if someone will cheat with you they will cheat on you?

3. Morality will be Judged by God.

What the world calls a fling God calls adultery. What the world says is "sowing wild oats" God calls fornication. Some of what the world calls entertainment can be recognized through its thin disguise as what the Bible defines as lust. It is easy to get caught up by the emotion of this topic. The Bible doctrines that are clear when looking at the entangled relationships of a stranger do not change when considering the multiple marriages of a sibling.

Commentators agree on the clear teaching of this passage: "He will judge and condemn infraction of the marriage-bond, however social sentiment may condone them" (Vincent, p. 562); "God will judge both classes whether men do or not" (Robertson, p. 445).

Those who belong to Christ must follow his clear lead in understanding, teaching and practice (Mt. 19:3-9). This is no longer a subject of the world - the church struggles with respecting the sanctity of marriage. In that struggle we as Christians must be clear, standing on the secure ground of God's word. Only then will we be found on God's side; not the world's.

We are rearing a generation that will likely inherit a world of confused morals. That generation looks to us for guidance. Will they find us looking to God, approving His way as the only way to live happy, productive lives? When your children are grown will they believe that the measure of success in the home, workforce, school and church is being found pleasing to God?

David Bragg

Cape Girardeau, MO

6-20-98  

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A Modest Sermon

(1 Tim. 2:9-10)

Recently our VBS program was blessed with an unusual number of neighborhood kids. As the week progressed I wondered about their potential and our ability to make a difference in their lives.

Perhaps Paul had similar concerns about the church at Ephesus when he first entered the city in Acts 18:18 at the end of his second missionary journey.

On the third journey, in AD 51, Ephesus would become an evangelistic center (Acts 19:10). Ten years later it would form a strong, spiritual congregation that would appreciate Paul's marriage / church analogy (Eph. 5:22-ff). But by AD 96, just 30 years later, they had lost its first love (Rev. 2:4).

The first real hint of the slow progression towards apathy is found in 1 Tim. 2 in the form of an unhealthy emphasis on trying to dress like the world. Paul, accustomed to addressing doctrinal and spiritual matters actually had to write Timothy in AD 67 to tell the Christians in Ephesus how to dress!

This passage has been subject to a wide range of interpretations from extremely strict dress codes to deliberately ignoring the text as if it, unlike the preceding and following chapters, was uninspired. What should the modern believer glean from this text? To answer that question is to ask three others.

1. What is the Problem?

Clearly stated the problem in Ephesus was women over adorning themselves for the public assembly of the church. Unlike today when modern fashion trends tend to over expose the female body, in AD 67 they drew attention by over adorning.

The key is that it "drew undue attention to the female body". The styles distracted from their express purpose of worship. The elaborately braided hair included jewels, precious metals and sometimes leaves and vines. This along with expensive clothes served to distract attention to the woman's outward appear which has NEVER been the focus of true religion but ALWAYS the focus of the world.

The problem was NOT Paul's dislike of the female gender. He was not being mean in singling out women, only practical. His rebuke applies to men's fashions just as much as Jesus' observation applies to a woman's seemingly less prominent problem of lust (Mat. 5:28).

Paul is reminding them that ones clothes reflect an attitude. Manner of dress and the accompanying attitude must be appropriate to the gathering church.

2. What are the Guidelines?

There are no formal dress codes for Christians of all ages included in the Bible. Dress remains subject to style, culture and personal taste. Yet over-riding principles do provide guidance and Paul lists three of them:

a) Modesty - this is the opposite of nakedness. It is important to remember that one can be considered naked when wearing revealing clothes (Jn. 21:7). Modest clothes reflect an awareness with an accompanying sense of shame for one's body.

b) Propriety - proper, appropriate. The Greek word describes the state of being adorned but not to the point of distraction. Such outward dress is compatible with spiritual profession.

c) Moderation - self-controlled; sensible; "one who voluntarily places limitations on his freedom". This is a desire to be safe rather than pushing the limits of fashion.

3. How do we make Application?

Use common sense, dress appropriate for the occasion and reflect proper honor for your body as a person not as an object.

You can't govern other's thoughts, but you can influence them for good or for bad by what you wear. This has an application of other subjects:

** How can two teenagers of the opposite sex dressed in revealing swimsuits play together in a swimming pool and not be tempted by each other?

** What impure thoughts are encouraged by dress styles especially when mixed with dating, dancing and other dangers?

Parents are called upon to bear much of this responsibility. They can dispel the myth that it is impossible to survive adolescence without compromising one's modesty. Today's fashion leaves room for stylish yet modest clothing.

And Paul reminds us of the most crucial factor: God cares how we dress. He was the One who clothed the first couple in Eden. He regulated the dress appropriate for the priests to conduct their official duties before Him without offending His sense of appropriateness.

In contrast to these concerns of God, what were the concerns of Ephesian women - pleasing society or God?

David Bragg

Cape Girardeau, MO

8-12-98  

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Father Knows Best

A Study of Ephesians 6:4

With the passing of years, and generations, comes a changing attitude regarding the role filled by “Dad.”  In a recent survey of youth who are members of the Church of Christ published by Abilene Christian University, when asked, "Who is your hero?,” 28% answered, "My Dad."

Society is not too kind to the family.  Demands on our time and energy undermine the family ties.  Lifestyles choices further reduce time together for both parents and children.  The days of Ozzie Nelson, Ward Cleaver and Jim Anderson being the stereotypical father have gone.  Sadly, today's children of the world have a flawed, confusing model of fatherhood and family.

Fortunately, children in God's Kingdom, the church, can see more clearly God's intention of fatherhood.  While this model is not always found in imperfect, human fathers, it will be in the inspired Word, which the faithful Christian father should be struggling to follow.  Father knows best when father knows the Bible.

1.  Fathers give Direction.

"The home is a lighthouse which has the lamp of God on the table and the light of Christ in the window, to give guidance to those who wander in darkness" (Henry Rische, "The Windows of Home").  It is in the home that children should find the direction of their lives. 

Here they should identify their eternal goal and be equipped for the journey through life.  God calls on us, fathers and mothers, to become living examples for our children that they may more clearly see the way they should go, that we may lead them by our obedience to God.  This demands openness, sincerity, and involvement on behalf of each parent in the daily life of their children.

A successful stockbroker noticed two less fortunate homeless men seeking monetary handouts from those exiting the subway.  He dropped a few coins in each man’s extended palms.  As they looked at each other the one alms-seeker said to the other, “Hey, this is a lot better than I did last week when I was blind.”

2.  Fathers offer Acceptance.

"What is home?  A world of strife shut out - a world of love shut in.  The only spot on earth where faults and failings of fallen humanity are hidden under the mantle of charity.  The father's kingdom, the children's paradise, the mother's world.  Where you are treated the best and grumble the most” (Anonymous).

Historically and biblically (1 Timothy 5:8), fathers provide for their families (2 Corinthians 12:14c-15a).  The best efforts are not always successful (12:15b).  Paul’s instruction to families (Ephesians 6:1-3) reminds us that after giving our best the choices in life are not always in our hands.  We sometimes can only pray, encourage and hurt for the wayward child.  Consider the following, entitled A Letter to the Prodigal, written by Glenn Colley:

“My Dear Son (or Daughter):

You are, and have been since your conception the joy of my life.  I cannot tell you how much I love you.  I’ve watched you develop into a fine adult.  My heart is flooded with the memories of you as I watched you grow through the years.

This morning as I was praying, I talked to God about you.  I always do.  Since you left the church, He’s heard your name from me often.  I beg Him to help you come back.  I tell Him to be merciful to you.

Even though it has been some time now since you have been a faithful Christian, I have never lost hope.  I never will.  I can’t.  I want you back in the church, whatever it takes.  I know it sometimes takes a great tragedy to bring some back.  Even still, I believe it would be worth it.

I lie awake at night trying to think of what I have left unsaid … what I might say more … I can’t help believing that I’ve failed you.  I think of the past and wonder which year it was that I made my mistake with you.  Proverbs 22:6 used to be a comfort to me: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it,” but now it haunts me.  Maybe this is my fault.

I live my life in hope of heaven.  I dread however the tine of judgment when we will be separated if you are lost.  I don’t know how the good Lord could wipe away all my tears.

I was reading in my Bible the other day about a man of whom it was said, “It had been good for that man if he had not been born.”  I can’t imagine what my life would have been like without you, but I would rather have never had you than to raise you to be eternally lost.

I love you and Jesus loves you.  Won’t you please come back to His church?

Your loving mother.”

These children must not be loved any less, as is evident in the Father's love for the original prodigal.  Parents sometimes are forced by the wrong choices of their loved ones to live in hope ...  "The glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time you fall" (Sweet, 187).

3.  Fathers administer Discipline.

The book of Proverbs is well known for teaching the need for discipline in the family:  13:24; 19:18; 22:15; 23:13.  Unfortunately, disciple is too often understood in its negative form of correction (2 Timothy 3:16-17; Hebrews 12:6).  The word actually encompasses "instruction, training," and therefore is most often exercised in a positive manner.

Parents must take the time and energy required to communicate effectively with their children.  They need to remember also that their children will learn how to treat others by how they see you treating people while you are in their presence.  Christian parents will teach by example the reason for prayer and the need for reverence while praying.  How you accept and approach a difficult task just because it is the right thing to do will also make a valuable impression on young lives.

How you live your life as a Christian is discipline, or training, for your watchful child.  "Strength of character may be acquired at work, but beauty of character is learned at home.  There the affections are trained.  There the gentle life reaches us, the true heaven life.  In one word, the family circle is the supreme conductor of Christianity" (Henry Drummond).

It is no wonder that some have referred to the Bible as BASIC INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE LEAVING EARTH.  Fathers have a similar role in the lives of their families.

The angels from their thrones on high

Look down on us with wondering eye,

That where we are but passing guests

We build such strong and solid nests;

And where we hope to dwell for aye

We scarce take heed a stone to lay.

Isn’t it strange that princes and kings

Ad clowns that caper in sawdust rings

And common people, like you and me,

Are builders for eternity?

Today’s fathers best chance at success is in refusing to let society dictate the time and activities in which they can be involved in the life of their children.  Rather, they must let God's Word shape their lifestyle and family.

"Hush! oh, hush!  for the Father, whose ways are true and just,

Knows and cares and loves, and waits for your perfect trust;

The cup He is slowly filling shall soon be full to the brim,

And infinite compensations for ever be found in Him" (Francis Havergal, in Streams in the Desert, volume 3, April 9).

One day each year our society honors fathers.  Perhaps our prayer should be that all fathers would follow their heavenly Father who has much experience in making heroes.  Pray that God will give your children a hero, let it be their father

David Bragg

Cape Girardeau, MO

June 18, 2000  

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The Family that Worship Together

Can Last Forever!

          Recently on the Donahue Show a group of homosexual couples discussed their desire to adopt children.  They stressed their ability to provide not only a loving and “moral” environment for these children but also a strong faith in God.

        Oprah Winfrey traveled last week to our nation's capital to appear before the House to discuss child abuse.

        Magic Johnson came forward to assist in the vocalizing of the nation's newfound battle cry of “safe sex.”

        Considering these recent events only emphasizes the serious problems that face the family of the 1990's:

       *Alcoholism              *Pornography        *Single parent homes

       *Drugs                      *Bankruptcy          *Working mothers

       *Pre-marital             *Extra-marital       *Divorce

       *Spouse violence     *Murder                *Abortion

Against these challenges parents have ample reason to fear for the safety of their family.  To add to this fear one needs only to reflect on the frequent claim that the home is the foundation of American society!  Our homes, however, are being pulled from every side and the American family clearly shows signs of fraying.

        "The family in its old sense is disappearing from our land, and not only our free institutions are threatened, but the very existence of our society is endangered."  It really is no surprise to hear statements like this in a society that seems to be lower the expectations and importance of the family relationship.  The surprise may be in the fact that even in ages long since past there have been prophets of doom preaching the demise of the traditional family (the above quotation was originally printed in The Boston Quarterly Review in 1859, and more recently in Newsweek).  How old the statement is only heightens the troubling concerns it raises.

        The family of the 1990's face social erosion and, without clear standards to follow, the family can only grow weaker.  Where should one turn to find help to make our marriages and families strong?  The only answer is THE BIBLE!  Such a claim is quickly met with skepticism (if not open derision and laughter).  What does Moses know about 1990's issues?  How can Jonah relate to the financial strain placed upon families of today?  What comfort can Philemon offer in the tough choices of daily life?

        If one is honest with oneself and open towards God they will realize that God's Word has profound relevance to the life of the family - in fact - within its pages rests the only hope for keeping their marriage strong.

        In reading Genesis one, the reader encounters God's nearly perfect creation.  One thing marred this great world -- the loneliness of man (Genesis 2:18)!  Marriage is from here onward to be a special creation crowned a search for man's mate (verse 20) and the first foundation upon which the modern family can rest is found.  Three great needs are to be satisfied through this unique physical/spiritual bond, thereby making true family stability possibly.

COMPANIONSHIP (Genesis 2:22-25).  In a large southern city reported that about 50,000 phone calls were received on their Crisis Prevention Hotline each year.  That's 137 calls per day.  Many of those calls are from people who are simply lonely.  In addition, some studies were conducted one by Psychology Today, indicating that loneliness afflicts nearly 50% of the United States population.

        Perhaps this is like the small boy who was selling Christmas cards.  When asked why he needed the money he announced that he wanted to raise one million dollars for the hungry.  When asked if he realized that he would never raise that amount all by himself the boy acknowledged that fact, but adding that he had another boy working the other side of town.  Many would view God's help for our families as just about as effective.  But the truth is that marriage is God's answer to loneliness.  In it God provides mankind with companionship.  Solomon touched on this in Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, stating that companionship is strong, especially when the bond is threefold (in this case the man, wife and God). 

        Companionship is not enough, however.  A strong marriage must have a more basic element:

COURTSHIP (Song of Solomon 8:6-7).  Canticles is a book dwelling on marital love written by a man who had come to understand the blessing of one man and one woman for life!  Perhaps Solomon longed for the simplicity of God's pattern but could not reach it because of his sins of polygamy.  Even the title is a superlative tribute to the importance of the marital relationship as God designed it, literally this is “the best song of all!”  There are many other references to the sexual fulfillment God has placed within the marriage relationship:

    * Proverbs is filled with references to the exaltation of romance in marriage -- (Proverbs 5:18 and following).

    * Corinthians admonishes the kindling of romances' flame (1 Corinthians 7:3-4).

    * Hebrews blesses the marriage bed while at the same time condemning fornication and adultery (Hebrews 13:4).

        In placing sex within marriage God deals with our nation's fear of AIDS.  This is perhaps best expressed, in addition to the passages above, in these words by a modern writer: "Everyone whose sex life is not disciplined by the Christian ethic of virginity until marriage and faithfulness within marriage is at risk."

        It becomes more evident that a strong marriage demands more than companionship and courtship:

COMMITMENT (Matthew 19:1-6).  Here is the divine plan: two becoming one, cleaving as a result of leaving, and merging together all aspects of their lives:  emotional; intellectual; physical; spiritual.  The result is a commitment made strong by first being grounded in God (Matthew 19:4)!  This basic commitment is essential. 

The parent’s commitment to Christ must also be modeled before our children.  When scouting and sports are placed over church is it any wonder if they deem worship is unimportant when they reach adulthood?  Our children will have been cheated into thinking that a strong relationship to God is not as important as their careers or hobbies.  We will leave them wondering in the face of their eternity which commitment is most important.

        A strong marriage is most easily measured by the commitment preserved within the union.  This is a commitment that man has the freedom to unwisely choose, as many do, to betray.  Such a choice cannot be made without losing God's approval (Matthew 19:8-9).  They will also bring untold harm to innocent individuals involved.  These are the words of an expert on this subject, a young boy named Corey.  He wrote that "divorce is like two lions in a den attacking each other.  All kids can do is sit behind a window and watch it happen."

        Do you want success in your home?  Then you must get right with God.  Do you want a strong marriage and happy family?  Continue to abide and bring your children up within God’s pattern for marriage and the family.

David Bragg

Cape Girardeau, MO

November 17, 1991  

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The Threshold of Tomorrow

A Study of Luke 15:11-32

  Perhaps no word evokes dreams like the word “tomorrow.”  It holds promises of freedom, success and happiness.  Even in the remote Judean countryside, over 1900 years ago, those dreams could not be smothered.  At first they were childhood fantasies but slowly they possessed the dreamer. Reluctantly the father let go, the hardest thing for a parent to do.

Land was sold.  Assets liquidated.  Net worth calculated and divided by three.  Two-thirds were held in the name of the oldest son while the father handed the rest to his youngest boy, the one filled with dreams of success and happiness.

His bags were already packed.  His itinerary terminated in a far country.  For him parting was a joy, no longer would he exist in such dreary surroundings, endless days of toil had passed, gone are the seasons of walking in his older brother's shadow, no longer will he only dream of making it big in the world.  He stood on the threshold of tomorrow.

Don't you wish we could stop him?  We see that he is blindly walking into the world with his eyes wide open, but we are helpless to stop him.  Knowing the dangers, we are forced to stand idly by as the parable unfolds.  Hearing the lies of the world and knowing that the happiness they promise is empty, the success is hollow and the freedom it boasts in only an illusion, we see him disappear through that threshold to emerge a broken man, sadness his only companion, a failure and a prisoner in the prison of his own dreams: tomorrow!

This young man's tragic pilgrimage in the far country was not the result of his dreams.  Life is only tolerable without dreams.  His failure did not result because he left home.  As we grow the time always come to leave home.  He did not drown in a sea of loneliness because he had too little provisions. His miserable condition had nothing to do with what he took with him on his journey.  It had everything to do with what he left behind.

1.  His Conscience (Luke 15:13).  Tempted by the bright lights and superficial beauty of the world, the prodigal lost all perspective of right and wrong.  The lessons he had learned from his earliest days had been forgotten.  His mind didn't question what felt good (15:30).

"Company, like climates, alter complexions."  Paul also spoke of the corrupting influence of immoral “friends (1 Corinthians 15:33).  Sin subdued the prodigal's conscience.  Gradually he forgot what he had been taught.  Consider this familiar verse:

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

God has given us a conscience to protect us.  If we allow our conscience to be destroyed, we open ourselves up to certain failure.  We too will find ourselves mired in life, therefore many exist in spiritual poverty even though they live in physical luxury.

2.  His Heritage (Luke 15:17).  He forgot who he was.  Too long he had been the center of his world.  Now in the stench and mud he saw himself clearly.  He was not intended to be alone.  He remembered his father, slowly he came to his senses.

Now he realizes that what he does reflects on his heritage.  He feels shame, not just for his own foolish actions but for the hurt he will surely bring into his father's home.  Not only was he broken, feeling unworthy, but his father would be too (15:18).

Perhaps he thought of those he had led astray.  Maybe he began to see that he would forever be remembered as only a prodigal!  His dreams delivered heartaches.  His success within easy grasp eluded him.  His freedom became a nightmare of helplessness.  The only place he could turn was home.  The only way he could go was in shame.

3.  His God (Luke 15:20).  Those listening to this parable could easily understand the deeper imagery as pointing to God.  God forgives.  God welcomes.  God rejoices.  Here was a young man who had left home with everything he needed except the one person he needed most - God.  "The greatest question of our time is not communism versus individualism; not Europe versus America; not even the East versus West.  It is whether man can live without God” (Will Durant).  The prodigal eventually learned this lesson and came back to Whom he had forsaken.

In a poem entitled “Never Alone,” we are reminded of God’s promise to remain with those who remain faithful to Him.

How many times discouraged, we sink beside the way;

About us all is darkness, we hardly dare to pray;

Then from the mists and shadows, the sweetest voice e'er known,

Says, "child, am I not with thee, never to leave the alone?"

O soul, hast thou forgotten, the tender word and sweet,

Of Him who left behind Him the print of bleeding feet?

"I never will forsake thee, O child so weary grown;

Remember I have promised never to leave thee alone."

Take courage, wayworn pilgrim, tho' mists and shadows hide

The face of Him thou lovest, He's ever at thy side;

Reach out thy hand and find Him, and lo, the clouds have flown.

He smiles on thee who promised, never to leave thee alone.

He was not the first to leave God behind as he chased the dreams of tomorrow.  There was Solomon (Ecclesiastes 12:1), Demas (2 Timothy  4:10), and the unnamed businessman (James 4:13-17).  This prodigal will not be the last.  John Gipson wrote of a fellow preacher called upon to deliver a eulogy.  The best he could do, however, when it came time to give a summation of her life was to say, "She loved fudge."  Another man in a similar situation was called upon to summarize the life of a man whose was most often described as a scoundrel and reprobate.  He said, "He was a good whistler.

Today we stand, as the prodigal did, at the threshold of tomorrow.  Before you step through the door into the confusing and tempting voices of the world, know that your faith will be tested.  You will have occasion to forget that what you do will reflect on those you love most.  You will face difficult decisions of right and wrong.  Learn from the prodigal.  Don't make the same mistakes.  Take with you on your journey a conscience filled with the morality of Christ, an awareness of who you are and to Whom you belong.  Let God go with you and He will lead you around the far country, follow His Word and it will lead you home.

David Bragg

Cape Girardeau, MO

August 21, 1994